Family Air Fare
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: "I" enter an air race, Launchpad helps me, Magica interferes.


Family Air Fare  
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

There was to be an air race in Duckburg. Launchpad couldn't compete because he was working for Mr. McDee that day. Launchpad thought there was no way he could return to Duckburg in time. The best Launchpad thought he could do was to get back a few minutes AFTER the race started.

However, Launchpad wanted to catch as much of the race as possible. I was racing in it. My sister was in town and wanted to spend some time with her nieces and nephews. (1)

Guess what happened? The ship carrying the cargo Launchpad was supposed to pick up was delayed by a storm elsewhere. Figures.

Since there was no cargo for Launchpad to pick up, Launchpad was able to make it back to Duckburg before the race started. I started in the race with all the other pilots.

However, some of the other pilots cheated. Inside of keeping to the race's course, they would cut corners, take shortcuts whenever the refs weren't looking.

I couldn't do that even if I wanted to (what's the point? If I trying to prove how good I am, how am I proving that by cheating?) I'M the one who'd get caught..

I lack Launchpad's experience in dealing with cheaters and no-goodniks. I didn't have the slightest idea what I was supposed to DO in this sort of situation.(1)

So, I just kept flying fair and square and let them cheat and pick each other off. Since some pilots were cheating, a lot of pilots fell so far behide they were out of the picture.

Some crashed because they'd been cheating or because others had cheated. I just kept from going and while I bent the rules a little (usually just took advantage of loopholes), I didn't break any.

I started catching up to the front runners until they got mad at me for a) not cheating and b) not being a sucker, neither. But it was MY rotten temper that was my undoing.

I got more and more frustrated seeing these idiots cheat and try to damage my plane. I was unable to stop them. And I lacked the experience to lick 'em fair and square. Finally, because I lost my temper one of their attempts to clip my plane resulted in my crashing.

"Well. they say married people start to act alike after awhile." I joked. " I'm OK!" I reassured Launchpad as he rushed out to my side.

"That was a crash worthy of me!" Launchpad joked. "And YOU started the dumb jokes this time."

The first lap of the race ended just then. soon, the second lap would began. There was a brief break between laps.

"You should get right back in my plane." Launchpad advised, "My plane is undamaged. You can use it."

"What good would that do? I can't lick them! I haven't your experience!" I moaned.

"How's about I pilot the plane and you co pilot? I could use an extra pair of eyes with these nogoodniks." Launchpad suggested.

"Will the race officials let you replace me?" I asked. " I'm the registered pilot in this race!"

"No harm in ASKING." Launchpad pointed out.

As it turned out, all the pilots in this air race had only signed up under our LAST names. No first names mentioned. and since Launchpad was ALWAYS a McQuack and was a pilot long before he taught me how, they saw no harm in letting him took over. (2 )

Once in the race, Launchpad immediately began to play a game of over or under, flying quite close to the ground under one of the pilots, or VERY high up over another pilots, much higher than the other pilots cared to go. (3)

Launchpad flew the plane "sideways", wings pointing to the ground and the sky and flew between two planes that tried to block us from passing.

"Nothing in the rules says I CAN'T use the same stunts I fly in stunt flying shows." Launchpad muttered.

I was keeping my eyes open for cheaters. While Launchpad was busy flying the plane, I looked around and warned him when one of the other pilots started flying WAY too close or were otherwise up to no good.

My heads-up helped him use them against each other. Many times, two different pilots who were each trying to damage our plane ended up damaging each other after Launchpad evaded them.

Now, naturally the Trins and Webby and Mrs. Beakly were in the crowd, cheering us on. They had even managed to drag, kicking and screaming about wasting time on a workday, Mr. McDuck.

Meanwhile, Magica was bored. Mr. McDuck had improved security at the Bin, making it harder for her to even come close to the Bin, never mind steal the Lucky Dime.

Magica was looking at a crystal ball and saw this air race with me and Launchpad in it, and Mr. McDuck in the audience. Magica decided to create a storm to ruin the race out of sheer spite.

Magica hopped on her flying broom and flew to the race and whipped up a storm. The storm soon threatened the race and the audience. One minute the sky had been blue and cloudless, the next in was raining barrels of water and there was thunder and lighting.

People screamed, and started to run and panic.

"Where did this storm come from all of the sudden?" Launchpad asked me.

"Magica! Look over there, Launchpad! It's Magica DeSpell on her broom, laughing!" I replied "Magica must of created this storm!"

"Well, let's see what happens if we distract her!" Launchpad declared

And he started flying loop de loops around Magica, hoping that if Magica's attention was distracted, the storm would disappear. No such luck.

Magica aimed the storm at US. Which at least spared the crowd. Mr. McDuck and Mrs. Beakly were already taking charge. Mrs. Beakly got the kids in order and Mr. McDuck got the crowd in order so everybody got out of there, safely. So Launchpad's plan to distract Magica did that much good.

As soon as Mr. McDuck had gotten everybody else, except the kids out of the way, he wanted to DO something to STOP Magica.

The Trins and Webby refused to leave.

"We want to help! We won't leave until you do!" They said.

"This isn't kid stuff...wait, maybe it is. Follow me, kids! I have an idea on how you can help from a safe distance!" Mr. McDuck said.

Mr. McDuck ran into a toy store he owned and emerged with a whole bunch of remote control planes. Mr. McDuck handed one to each kid.

Soon, the toy plane were buzzing around Magica, bombing her with itching powder, or green slime in her eyes. Otherwise she actually LIKED the slime. But NOT when it kept her from seeing where she was going. And Magica was flying on her broom.

Webby saw that Magica at first LIKED the green slime the boys tried on her. Webby then thought outside the box and tried things normal people like on Magica. Webby had her toy plane strew pretty flowers and perfume on Magica. This totally disgusted and revolted Magica.

"Yuck! Horrible pretty flowers! Miserable smelly perfume! GET THIS STUFF OFF OF ME!" Magica streamed.

Mr. McDuck "obliged" Magica by having his toy plane bomb her in sanitary liquid soap. Magica soon "turned off" the storm because all it's rain was making her sudsy.

This annoyed Magica no end.

"Launchpad...it's October. October the 31TH is coming up...is it possible Magica has the holiday blues?" I asked.

"Or feels the need to do something to celebrate her holiday." Launchpad muttered.

And Launchpad flew the plane near Magica's broom, nearly missing her. As Launchpad hoped, Magica followed our plane. Launchpad flew to the graveyards, which were all dolled up with fake spiderwebs, fake ghosts, fake witches, etc.

People there were DELIGHTED to see Magica. Of course, they thought Magica was a fake witch, and a very clever fake. And Magica knew that.

"HAPPY HOLLOWEEN, Magica! What's Halloween without a witch?" Launchpad shouted out.

Magica realized that here, nobody was going to be scared of her. So she LEFT. That's all you can do with Magica. Make her so tired and disgusted that she goes home.

The air race was cancelled due to adverse weather conditions and the panic afterwards. On reviewing the videos of the air race, the cheating was discovered. The officials decided to declare this race null and void and NOT redo it, at least until they could figure out how to prevent cheating. So NOBODY won.

THE END.

(1) This is what I find particularly unbelievably about dweebs as heroes: lacking experience in fighting, what makes YOU think they know how to handle power even if given it?  
(2)I suspect the officials suspected what the other pilots were up to but couldn't prove it.  
I(3) wasn't fond of ME doing it, either. Launchpad I trust. If I'm wrong, I'm the one who will suffer.

Stella Street, Mr. McDuck's female lawyer came to the judge's stand: "Attorney for the defense recalls Launchpad McQuack!"

Launchpad came to the witness' stand. When badgered by the lawyer for the prosecution, Launchpad had been so nervous about accidentally saying something wrong and making Mr. McDuck look guilty, Launchpad's knees had knocked. Now that Launchpad got to testify in Mr. McDuck's benefit, he was more relaxed.

"Mr. McQuack WHEN did you drop off Mr. McDuck near Glomgold Galleries?" Della asked.

"15 to 1 Weds afternoon. 12:45, right on the dot." Launchpad replied.

"How do you remember that so exactly?" Ms. Street inquired.

"Mr. McDuck told me to come back at 1:30. I automatically looked at my clock on my "dashboard" to see what time it was." Launchpad replied.

"And WHEN did he return?" Della asked.

"1:30, right on the dot. I got there at 1:20, just in case he got back early. I'd rather cool my heels for 10 minutes then have him scream for making him wait." Launchpad replied.

"Here is a signed affidavit from my law clerk, he checked the clock on Mr. McQuack's copter and confirm that it keeps perfect time." Ms. Street said, handing the paper to the bailiff.

"Refresh my memory, your honor- WHEN did the robbery at Glomgold Galleries happen?" Della asked, all innocence.

"Hmmm. 1:29 exactly, according to the "clock" on the VCR tape." the Judge replied, shuffling papers to check.

"Mr. McQuack, how far is it from where you picked up Mr. McDuck to Glomgold Galleries?" Ms. street asked.

"Objection! Mr. McQuack is NOT an expert on the geography of Duckburg!" the weasel for the prosecution objected.

"I asked Mr. McQuack because he knows EXACTLY where he picked up Mr. McDuck. Although, he has been flying over Duckburg for many years and might very well qualify as an expert on where everything in Duckburg is." Ms. Street said. "I could ask him where he picked up Mr. McDuck and then ask the curator of Glomgold Galleries how far that is from there, if your honor prefers."

"Mr. McQuck may answer the question." the Judge ruled "In the interest of saving time."

"A little more than 6 blocks- more than a half mile. I landed in an alley, it the only place big enough to land a copter in the area." Launchpad replied.

"More than a half mile. In ONE moment." Della began.

" Mr. McDuck was 83 on his last birthday. (back in the 80's, that is.) In fine shape for a duck his age. Still, I invite the lawyer for the procession to try running 6 city blocks in ONE moment." Della continued.

" At 1:29 in the afternoon, when many, many Duckburgians are out enjoying a late lunch. When thousands of cars, trucks and vans and buses are on the road. When a red light would certainly delay you awhile." Della stated

" I doubt Jesse Owens in his prime could do that under THOSE conditions. Reasonable doubt, your honor. That's all I have to prove. Reasonable doubt." Della concluded.


End file.
